Sunday Confession: view from the rear view


Confession: most things seem less scary when you’re looking at them from your rear view mirror.

I have always hated the bridge in this picture. It’s a small bridge width wise, when it’s windy you can see the bridge sway in front of you. I used to need meds to get over it.
However, once I was across it, I never thought it was a big deal. I was lying to myself. It was a big deal.

I like to joke about my surgery when I talk about it. I down play it, I make light when I can. I try to make it no big deal. But it was one.

I’m looking at it through a rear view, and trying not to focus on it. However, every time I sneeze or take a relaxed deep breath or try to sing in Church; it’s my wake up call. I’m still on the middle of the bridge.

Confession: I want off the bridge.

I want to wake up and not feel any ‘residual’ pain from my surgeries. I want to see no one start to talk to me, and watch their eyes quickly focus on the scar, then look at me with judgement.
Until I get my first ‘normal’ day, it’s never going to feel like it’s in the rear view.

For now, I’m buckled up and taking on everyday as it comes.

Until later.

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