Sunday Confessional: noticing the notices

Confession: it was a bad week for me. 

I just never felt like I had my feet under me. Both with my eating and my activity. I just couldn’t get my shit together and I am still trying to claw my way back. I seem to have not wanted this very much this week. 

I am hitting my reset button. I am committing to track and get my water in. That’s what I’m struggling with aside from the food.  As for the activity, I just felt as though I haven’t worked out in months even though I only missed four classes. I was sucking wind, feeling wholly uncoordinated and out of place. 

It was weird, I didn’t feel right in my skin. 

Today I got on the treadmill, and pushed the speed up to 3.0, and did it for almost the whole walk. Even did 5min at 3.1. Felt good that it felt comfortable, I didn’t feel rushed. 

When I have a moment like that, on the treadmill, I notice the changes in me. It’s a quiet little moment when I just smile to myself on the treadmill in the middle of the gym. No one else around me knows. No one else around me cares. It’s for me alone. 

I have had a couple of people say they see a change in me. I honestly don’t believe them. I’ve only lost 10lbs. Right now, when someone compliments me on my form in Combat, that makes me smile. I see noticeable change in that class.

Confession: I don’t think I want people to see the change 

I think right now, if I have people tell me they see how good I look and tell me they can tell I’m losing weight, it would work against me. I’m not entirely sure I can explain the reasoning, but in my mind I just think it could become a not so positive addition to my journey. 

How do you deal with the noticing comments?

Until later. 


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2 Responses to Sunday Confessional: noticing the notices

  1. cathyo says:

    I need to get back on track with my water too. Will make a better effort with that this week. As to the compliments, say “thank you, I’m working at it”. Because you are. You’re working hard. Everyone has bad days or setbacks. The key is to let it go and get back to what you know you should be doing. You got this!

  2. wbdeejay says:

    Noticing Comments from others… It’s tricky and I totally get your uncomfortable feelings. Us writers place more emphasis on spoken words and their meanings than many others intend. I tell myself they are trying to be encouraging- that’s what matters. Most people don’t know how best to encourage us unless we spell it out. And not everyone is skilled enough to respond to that.

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