Confession: it was a bad week for me.
I just never felt like I had my feet under me. Both with my eating and my activity. I just couldn’t get my shit together and I am still trying to claw my way back. I seem to have not wanted this very much this week.
I am hitting my reset button. I am committing to track and get my water in. That’s what I’m struggling with aside from the food. As for the activity, I just felt as though I haven’t worked out in months even though I only missed four classes. I was sucking wind, feeling wholly uncoordinated and out of place.
It was weird, I didn’t feel right in my skin.
Today I got on the treadmill, and pushed the speed up to 3.0, and did it for almost the whole walk. Even did 5min at 3.1. Felt good that it felt comfortable, I didn’t feel rushed.
When I have a moment like that, on the treadmill, I notice the changes in me. It’s a quiet little moment when I just smile to myself on the treadmill in the middle of the gym. No one else around me knows. No one else around me cares. It’s for me alone.
I have had a couple of people say they see a change in me. I honestly don’t believe them. I’ve only lost 10lbs. Right now, when someone compliments me on my form in Combat, that makes me smile. I see noticeable change in that class.
Confession: I don’t think I want people to see the change
I think right now, if I have people tell me they see how good I look and tell me they can tell I’m losing weight, it would work against me. I’m not entirely sure I can explain the reasoning, but in my mind I just think it could become a not so positive addition to my journey.
How do you deal with the noticing comments?